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2010 |
If your profile has never been published in our newsletter, or you are a brand new member, you are just the kind of under-the-radar person, we are looking for. We would like to publish your profile in a future newsletter so that all of the club members will realize that you are an interesting person with exceptional taste and character. PLEASE email the editor and ask for a the form.
lequene Please email the editor with any running problems that you may have. She will forward them to LeQuene who is always ready to answer the questions that you have never dared to ask another runner. Here's is a sample letter.
Dear LeQuene: How do you graciously divorce your exercise partner????? Maggie Slam (Submitted by her brother, Spike)
Dear Saggie:
You are not alone. Millions of runners divorce their training partners each year. My first piece of advice -- don’t be in a hurry to find a new exercise partner after the divorce. Take some time to discover what kind of runner you are. You need to find someone who is compatible. Too many runners fantasize about running around with a bad boy or bad girl and keep making the same bad choice. There is no right answer to your question and men and women often choose a different means to a gracious divorce. A lot depends on your temperament and the temperament of your partner, so I’ve tried to categorize my answers to help you find the best fit. Commercial. Try to sell them life insurance. Ask them for a loan Theatrical. Fake an injury Cardio-vascular. Run faster than they can breathe Chemical. Wear the same shirt every run. Never wash it. Fluid dynamics. Spread your body fluids freely. For a squeamish partner, sweat will work. For men, spit may but snot is better. Close in on them. If they’re clueless, let it land on them. Reload. Repeat as necessary. Legal. Suggest a trial separation. Break it to them gently. Keep repeating “It’s not you, it’s me. It’s not you. It’s me.” Conversational Suicide. Talk about things you don’t talk about in polite company. Talk about sores that just show up one morning. Talk about things that ooze pus. Talk about slimy things on your kitchen floor or in your refrigerator. Political. Ceaselessly talk politics. Always disagree with your training partner on issues and candidates. Change your mind if they begin to agree with you. Calendar Conflicts. Tell your partner that you can’t run then no matter when then is. You’ve got to (a) watch Oprah or some other talk show or soap opera (b) clean a closet (c) get your dog’s toenails clipped; or (d) save the world for democracy
If you are actually married to your exercise partner, you have a PROBLEM that's hard to run away from. |
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| Last Updated 02/11/2010 | |
from the
editor's desk